They’re about to go on holiday. Their first time together.
The destination is Malta, Jonathan has always wanted to go there and this just seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime. His left hand is on the steering wheel and even though he pays attention to the street, he can’t help himself but to give the ring on his finger a glance, his gaze filled with love and nothing but happiness.
It’s her who is sitting next to him. Singing along to the radio, smiling … Oh how he loves her beautiful smile …
“I love you”, he hears, feeling startled by her voice suddenly being so close to him. Ignoring the first moment in which he was shocked, he turns to her to give her forehead a tender peck. “I love you, too, you idiot. Now buckle up again.”
He laughs, finding it adorable how she is acting but his behaviour itself already telling that it makes him worry how she took her seatbelt off.
“But why?”, Marina asks, a pout on her lips while she pretends to be offended, “Don’t you like it when I’m closer to you?”
Jonathan shakes his head, at this point not able to find it funny any more, “I like it, but you know what I love? Exactly. You. You are a dork and I love you, and because you are the dork of my life, I want you to buckle up and be safe, because I don’t like the dork of my life bringing herself in danger.”
Marina giggles in response, her hand covering her mouth.
He loves her giggles, he loves every sign of her being happy and oh, if it just wasn’t for the danger of her not having the seatbelt buckled up he would laugh, reach over to hold her hand and hum.
As he already did so often.
But – being the woman he loves – she still manages to soften his tense expression up.
“Did you just call me a whale’s penis? I love you, too, but am I really the whale penis of your life?”
Now Jonathan can’t hold back his laughter, looking over at her and …
Why does she suddenly look so frightened?
With a loud yell Jonathan wakes up, his heart hammering in his chest.
He sits up, not even minding the goosebumps on his skin, which come up as soon as the cold air from the balcony hits his sweaty skin.
He chokes, chokes on his next breath and tears on his hair while he starts crying.
“Not again. Not again. Not – “, again?
The young man looks around in the bedroom, eyes the empty side of the bed while he forces himself to steady his breath. She is working.
She told him she would have to leave early because of work.
“Silly …”, Jonathan laughs breathlessly, his fingers running through his damp hair and only now he realises just how damn cold he is.
“Silly”, he tells himself again as he gets up, walking to the balcony door and looking out. His gaze falls on the glass which is laying on the ground and first he flinches. Flinching upon seeing blood on the ground. It’s only then that he reminds himself, that Marina dropped her glass yesterday.
No blood … There never was any blood.
Nothing bad ever happened to him or … or to her.
He looks at the wine stains on the ground, shaking his head while closing the door and making his way to the bathroom. He’s got the plan to take a shower. Take a shower and wash all these awful scenarios in his head away.
Awful … Awful and – and …
Unrealistic. Awful and unrealistic, yes. Something like this could never happen, right?
While stepping into the bathroom Jonathan thinks about his dream. Thinks about the ring on his hand.
He looks down at his left hand, furrowing his brows. No ring. But he feels like he knows the ring all too well.
All too well … All too …
Mechanically, like a robot, Jonathan sprints back into his bedroom, ripping one drawer out of his bedside table through how hasty he is with opening it.
The male falls on his knees in front of the mess he made, wildly searching. Searching and searching and searching until he finally found it.
He takes a look at the box, tilts his head, hums, wonders what to do.
Then he opens the box.
He knows what to do.
Hours later – it seemed like a decade to him – Jonathan finally is back together with Marina. Nothing on him tells about the terrible dream he had. In fact you could say he looks his best. Marina laughs while she shakes her head, asking, “And why did I have to dress up like this?”
He looks his best, she looks … indescribable. Her long red hair is bound up and her prepossessing body is covered with a tight cocktail dress. The colour of it is dark, still he can see that she isn’t wearing a bra. Not that she needed to; her breasts already have just the perfect form and Jonathan would lie if he said, that he minded seeing the form of them through her clothes.
Jonathan doesn’t answer, instead he just smiles at her, takes her beauty in.
“Wait”, he whispers, not able to lift his voice, “Let me take a picture first. Like a before and after.”
“Before and after?”, she scrunches her nose up and in that moment he takes the picture, laughing, “That’s a nice before!”
Before she could complain in any way, he sinks down on his knees in front of her, his right hand moving into his suit to pull out the box he looked for earlier.
“You asked why you had to dress up like this. Well, my love, because I already know you hate pictures of you where you aren’t dressed up. And because I have seen this in films – So I guess it is more romantic. Speaking of romantic …”, Jonathan clears his throat, “Marina. From the very first moment I laid my eyes of you, I couldn’t take them off you any more. I thought about it, talked to other people, my mother, my colleagues, thought about it by myself. And I came to the end that I must either be a very easy man or that you are just so … God, I can’t even explain your beauty … Astonishing? That I fell in love with you at first sight. And after looking at you, over and over again, I came to the end that it must be the last option. And darling, I don’t even want to take my eyes off you any more. I want you to be the woman I look at for the rest of my life, I want you to be the woman I kiss on the cheek every time I come home, telling her Darling, I’m home instead of asking if you want to come up with me for a cup of coffee. In fact, I would even love to make coffee for you every morning. If you want that, I can also make you some every evening. Even every night! I want to do everything, but I want to do everything with you. So, Marina, do you want to be my wife?”
He opens the box, smiling softly while taking another shot of the – now crying – beauty in front of him and awaiting her answer.